Nobody enjoys being stuck on a long flight or better yet, flying at all. But since Elon Musk hasn’t invented a teleportation device yet (hurry up Elon), flying is really our only option. For the majority of us, we’re probably sitting in Coach and riding bitch seat between the mother and her newborn or the dude that should have bought 2 tickets for himself due to his excessive bodily overflow.
There is nothing worse then arriving at your destination in shitty mood with no direction to where you’re going. So to combat a terribly long flying experience, here is what you need to do every time you have a long flight:
Stay Awake As Long As Possible
If you have an early flight the next morning, the best thing you can do is to stay awake the night before for as long as you possibly can. The number one goal on a long flight is to sleep on it as much as possible. Sleeping on the plane wont be your greatest quality sleep, but it will make the flight go by in what seems like half the time.
Throw Some Booze Back
If you have a late night flight, do yourself a service and hit the duty-free for your own little bottle of (insert alcohol). I prefer the cheapest bottle of red wine because for me, its heavy and makes me sleepy as hell. Whisky does the trick too.
A second option is to just hit the bar hard before going onto the plane. Don’t get belligerently drunk to the point where you get kicked off, but just enough to make your very-worn-in plane seat feel moderately comfy.
Flight Attendants Are Your Allies
Being nice, friendly and throwing on a smile for your flight attendants can go along way. You need them to be on your side and make them #TeamYou, so if there is ever a problem with a fellow traveler, or you want a second bag of lightly roasted peanuts, you will win every time. Plus, flight attendants have the power to upgrade anyone into empty first class seats. Did I mention they can give free drinks?
When I was boarding my flight to London, the flight attendant at the boarding door was holding a silver platter, two glasses, and a champagne bottle for the First-Class passengers. Naturally, I flirtatiously questioned her if that bottle was for the two of us which made her chuckle and smile. When everyone had boarded the plane, the flight attendant walked down the isle with her silver platter, two glasses, and a bottle of champagne again. This time, she stopped at my seat to tell my friend and I that this bottle was on the house. Yay free alcohol. See? Don’t be an ass if you want free booze.
Stretch Yo Legs
Have you ever kicked off your shoes for a long flight and then were suddenly unable to fit back into them 7 hours later? That’s because you had Flyer’s Feet or Travelers Feet. I think that’s what the kids call it these days. This happens to you when you are flying for too long without standing up and stretching. The blood in your legs and feet stop circulating which can lead to blood clots and severe swelling in your legs and feet. It’s pretty dangerous and scary actually. Try to stand up every every 2 hours and walk around the plane or stand by the bathroom for at least 10 minutes. Your sneaks should fit back on just fine then. Don’t be that guy that walks off the plane in socks.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Selfish
When a lot of people fly, they are concerned about offending or pissing off the people around them. This flight is about you, so do you. Once you’ve taken off, don’t be afraid to crank that seat back as far as possible. The seats are made to do this and the passenger behind you will crank theirs back anyway. It’s a long flight and you’ll need to be as comfortable as possible. If you need to go to the bathroom and you’re sitting in the window seat, don’t shy out on waking up the others next to you. All the people next to you are going to expect it to happen a few times on a long flight anyway. Another option is to just wait until one of the others next to you gets up so you can follow them out. Always use these opportunities to stretch.
Have any more tips on how to survive a long flight? Comment below!